Some possible responses
Children and young people who witness events that are frightening and distressing, especially those in which people are seriously injured or killed, such as terrorist attacks, may respond with a wide range of difficulties. Their reactions are normal given that they experienced an abnormal circumstance.
Children show us what they think and feel through their behaviour and as we know not all children respond in the same ways to the same things, including a traumatic event. While some may seem able to resume their routines and interests, for others the impact may be more severe and longer-lasting.
It is important to note that some children, just like some adults, may have a delayed distress response.
Parents, carers and other significant adults have an important role in helping children by providing emotional and practical support.
The possible responses that children may have
Thoughts
Confusion, disorientation, worry, troubling thoughts, memories and mental images, self-blame, poor concentration, memory disturbances, difficulty making decisions, or staying focused.
Feelings
Shock, sorrow, grief, sadness, despondency, fear, distress, numbness, irritability, anger, guilt, apathy.
Behaviours
Controlling behaviour, difficulty in relaxing, withdrawal or avoidance, not wanting to talk about the event, becoming fearful of leaving home, avoidance of social activities, conflict with others, problems at school or school refusal, clingy with parents or carers, risk taking or reckless behaviours, increased watchfulness or ‘jumpiness’, untypical frustration and aggression, substance misuse, telling stories or lying, self-harm.
Physical
Fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, stomach aches, feigned illness, difficulties sleeping, disturbed eating habits, with either an increase or decrease in feeling hungry, temporarily losing abilities, such as feeding or toileting.
Responses depending on age
Some children’s responses to a major incident are specific to different age groups.
Please be aware that for children who have previous difficulties such as separation and loss, their developmental age can be different to their actual age, for example, an autistic child, and or a child with a learning disability so the following information is just a guide.
Birth to 6 years
- Fearful.
- Clingy to parent or carer.
- Difficulties with soothing.
- Increased crying or screaming.
- Whimpering, trembling or rocking.
- Looking lost.
- Moving aimlessly or seeming frozen.
- Becoming immobile.
- Behaving younger than their age.
- Seeming helpless with increased dependence.
- Thumb sucking, bedwetting.
- Being afraid of the dark.
- Losing interest in play.
- Regressed speech or reluctance to talk.
- Destructive play.
- Untypical day dreaming.
7 to 10 years
- Fearful.
- Clingy to parent or carer.
- Difficulties with soothing.
- Untypical crying or screaming.
- Whimpering, trembling or rocking.
- Looking lost.
- Moving aimlessly or seeming frozen.
- Becoming immobile.
- Behaving younger than their age.
- Seeming helpless with increased dependence.
- Thumb sucking.
- Bedwetting.
- Being afraid of the dark.
- Losing interest in play.
- Regressed speech or reluctance to talk.
- Destructive play.
- Untypical day dreaming.
- Boys in particular may exhibit more angry behaviour.
11 to 18 years
- Having flashbacks (reliving what happened).
- Nightmares or other sleep problems.
- Avoiding reminders of the incident.
- Untypical risk taking behaviour and or substance misuse.
- Untypically disruptive, disrespectful, and, or destructive behaviour.
- Provoking angry responses from others.
- Increased complaints of physical ailments.
- Reduced contact with family, friends, and peers.
- Loss of confidence, aspirations.
- Confusion.
- Depression.
- Angry, aggression, frustrated presentation.
- Losing interest in fun activities, suicidal thoughts and ideas.
- Adolescents may feel guilty. They may feel guilt for not preventing injury or deaths. They also may have thoughts of revenge.
Just like adults, adolescents may feel guilty that they have survived and others have not. They may feel very angry and have thoughts of revenge.
In the event of an incident where race or religion is perceived to have played a part, some children may feel targeted because of their faith or appearance. They may experience offensive or unkind comments about their faith and, or identity. Be alert to signs of bullying and make sure that they know they can talk to you about it. Other children may feel scared or embarrassed, so reassure them that it is not their fault that this is happening. Make the child’s school aware of the issue and agree on how you are going to address these concerns together.
Some things to think about
- How do you feel about the information and for those of you currently supporting a child or children is there anything that you need to understand more?