How you might feel if someone you care about is hurt or killed
When someone that you love is not in your life anymore, or is badly hurt or disabled, it can hurt so much that the grief can feel like a physical pain.
- There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
- Everyone needs to grieve.
- There’s no fixed start or end time for grieving.
- Everyone finds it hard to cope with these feelings.
- It’s normal to keep talking about them and even feel angry at them.
It’s OK to ask questions about what will happen at the funeral.
You might go to a funeral to say goodbye to the person you cared about.
This can be very hard for young people and adults alike, but grieving together with others can help.
Do you want to talk?
Sometimes adults think it will upset you if they ask how you’re feeling, or you might not want to upset them by talking about the person. The opposite of this is true. It helps to talk and cry and you can feel much better afterwards.
When an adult is grieving it can feel like huge waves of sad feelings are washing over them.
For younger people it can feel more like puddles, and stepping in them can make you feel sad, angry or upset.
This is how your brain helps you to understand bit by bit that your loved one is no longer with you, or that lots of things have changed in your life.
I keep daydreaming about him. I forgot that he has died. I thought that I saw him. I wish my life could go back to how it was before.
It’s normal for anyone to feel like this when they’ve lost someone they love or if the person has been badly hurt. You might have these thoughts too.
It can help to keep a diary about your feelings. You don’t need to write about them, you could draw pictures instead. You don’t have to show it to anyone else.