Feelings when someone you care about dies or is badly hurt
When someone you love isn’t in your life anymore or gets hurt, it can feel like a pain in your heart. This is called grief and feeling this pain is called grieving.
It can be hard to deal with these feelings, but everyone needs time to grieve in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
You may like to
- ‘Keep talking about them.’
- ‘Look at their photo and cry.’
- ‘Get angry at them.’
You might want to go to the funeral. This can feel hard but it’s a good way to say goodbye to the person you cared about, and grieving together with others can help. It’s okay to ask about what will happen at the funeral.
Sometimes adults think it will upset you if they ask how you’re feeling, or you might not want to upset them by talking about the person. The opposite is true, it helps to talk and cry and you can feel much better afterwards.
‘Want to talk about it?’ ‘OK’
When an adult is grieving it can feel like huge waves of sad feelings are washing over them.
For children it can feel like puddles, and jumping in them can make you feel sad, angry or upset.
Grieving in puddles is how your smart brain helps you to understand bit by bit that lots of things have changed in your life. This is because it can be too much of a shock to believe it all at the same time.
‘I keep daydreaming about him.’ ‘I forgot that he has died.’ ‘I thought that I saw him.’ ‘I wish my life could go back to how it was before.’
Everyone feels like this when they’ve lost someone they love or if the person has been badly hurt. You might have these thoughts too.
It can help to keep a diary about your feelings. You don’t need to write about them, you could draw pictures instead. You don’t have to show it to anyone else.
On the next page we are going to look at ways to help you feel better.