Helping yourself
There is a lot you can do to help yourself, getting back into your usual routine can make a big difference so can going back to school, doing lessons, spending time with friends or speaking to teachers can really help.
If you were taking part in activities after school and at weekends restarting these can make you feel that some areas of your life are returning to normal.
If the disaster happened to other children then school may have plans about how to offer you more support.
Schools often have counsellors these are people who have been trained to help children deal with difficult things, and they work with individual or groups of children so that everyone is helped together.
Activity Zone
- Spending time talking with your parents or carers and friends can also make a big difference with how you are feeling. Sometimes being with people who were also there when the scary thing happened can also help because they will understand how you feel.
- Writing your feelings or drawing them can help you get things out of your head especially if you do this well before bedtime.
- When you feel a bit wobbly imagine that you are blowing up a balloon, take a deep breath fill yourself up with a lovely warm calm feeling like a still blue sea. Then as you breath out try to let go of any difficult feelings.
- Playing games to help get rid of difficult feelings like blowing bubbles with soap and a wand, using straws to blow away cotton balls or rolled up tissues, or blowing feathers also works.
- There are also lots of different apps you can get on a tablet, PC or phone that your parent or carer can help you find.
How to let out angry feelings:
If you want to get rid of angry feelings, get someone to hold out a sheet of newspaper at arm’s length and chest height. Aim to punch the newspaper in the middle making a loud noise can also help. Make snowballs out of the used newspapers to throw them at the wall is also a good game to get rid of big feelings. Have ‘snowball’ throwing competitions aiming at getting as many as you can in the bin in 10, 20, 30 seconds.
More ways to let out angry feelings:
Try pushing hard against the wall or running on the spot, if you have a punch bag and gloves use them. Find out if you can go to a gym and or borrow some and use these, or join a club where you can box or do another physical activity.
Remember that this is about expressing angry feelings in safe ways. All of these activities can make a big difference. Think about the things you have achieved in the past, and make a plan about the things you can do each day to help you reach your new goals.
Break this down in to small steps so you achieve your goal bit by bit and ask your parents or carers for their support. Each time you achieve a step celebrate this by doing something nice.
Ask your parent or career if they will sponsor you by giving you small rewards or perhaps a bigger one when you reach your target, like a treat meal or watching your favourite film together or playing your favourite game.
Memory game
Write down on bits of paper all the things you know that help you deal with what has happened. These can be helpful or unhelpful things. Write each thing twice, so you have two pieces of paper for each thing. Then shuffle them, turn them all over. Then ask your parent or carer to play a memory game. You have to find two that match.
Each time you get a pair have a chat about what’s on the cards. Think about what works well for you and what doesn’t and why. Any ideas that you come up with might help you with your plan about how to achieve your goals.
You might have good ideas about what you want to do to make yourself feel better. Children and adults are all different so it’s okay for you to find your own ways and to ask your parents or carers to support you with these.
Grounding
Sometimes pictures of the scary thing that happened pop into your head when you don’t want them to. Your parents or carer can help you doing special exercises to help you feel calm and safe.
Follow the instructions below
First of all sit or stand with your arms and legs uncrossed and feet firmly on the floor. Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth while counting.
‘In 1000 and out 1000.’
Do this 2 or 3 times and then find familiar objects around you. Say what they are one by one.
‘I can see the wall.’
‘I can see my socks.’
‘I can see the windows.’
Then more slow breaths followed by describing 4 to 5 things that you can hear.
‘I can hear my voice.’
‘I can hear myself breathe.’
‘I can hear the traffic outside.’
Then more slow breaths and then describe 4 to 5 things you can feel.
‘I can feel my skin.’
‘I can feel my clothes.’
‘I can feel my hands.’
On the next page we are going to think about how to take care of yourself.