4 January 2019. Interview with social worker who worked with children exposed to a major incident
What was the impact on you personally of working with children who had experienced a major incident?
‘When we realised what the children had been through, it was really difficult, I remember when we found out what we were dealing with from the police my colleague and I were both really shaken, we had to stop on the journey home afterwards because we felt so upset, I think we were both in shock ourselves. We had to work closely with other professionals to make sure that the children were safe and that had other challenges, I had to think very carefully about what to say and do, I sometimes thought, how am I going to get through this then. Realising what the children had been through, I felt angry, sad and scared sometimes, “it really got under my skin”. I wanted to understand all I could about what had happened to them, I remember I used to lay awake at night thinking about what the children had been through and how affected by it they were.
I think I was trying to process and make some sense out of it all and I wanted to make it alright for them, their experiences were so shocking. I think when I was reading about what happened I was trying to get it straight in my head somehow. I think for a time I was a bit obsessed, it took me years to stop thinking about it. I think I was looking for some kind of explanation, it was so hard to understand. When the legalities of it were finalised, afterwards I remember I burst into tears I think I was just so glad it was all over.
I think some of the other staff didn’t really understand what it was like for me to have a case like that, because it was such a unique thing, no-one had any understanding of what it was like working with children who had been through the things they had. I think one of the lasting impacts is that I still think about the children now even though they are grown up, I wonder about them and what sense they make of what happened to them.’
What helped and why?
‘I was one of two social workers involved initially and that helped, then it was just me as the main worker and that was hard, I got the full impact of it. We were offered staff care but I didn’t think it was necessary. Being able to talk to the other professionals involved really helped me. I think, when I was reading about what happened it helped me process it and work it through, I suppose I was trying to come to terms with it. Sometimes there’s a kind of dark humour that gets used to help you deal with difficult things, but there was none of that between us in the team because what happened to the children was so awful.
My team manager was good and my family were very supportive. I think time helped, and we had some “mad nights” out with my colleagues, that was definitely part of my coping strategy. We were also a great team, they were as helpful as they could be and I had a student social worker, who was an experienced support worker who was also very good.’