A 1950s military veteran of Middle Eastern and Cyprus crises, talks about his experiences and their impact, as well as what helped him and why
‘After attacks by terrorists we would have to go and round up the male population from teenage boys to old men. Some of the soldiers mistreated them, walloping them on
their hands and shoulders, it was indiscriminate hitting them with sticks if they put their hands down.
I was ashamed of what happened, no one thought to say anything, I felt like someone should have said to ease off. I felt guilty about not saying something, I should have said come on there’s no need for that, but I didn’t. No one was brought to task about it. I should have chided them and maybe others would have responded. There was an awful lot when I was in the army that I had to cut off from.
After another terrorist attack when an officer’s family were killed there were retributions, things snowballed it was like the mob mentality took over. After the incidents I felt angry, not mad angry, just angry. I had to cut myself off from it. I can’t remember feeling really scared, it was all a bit surreal, even when we were under threat, you just had to be aware of your surroundings, you were always prepared. It helped that we had a clear purpose we were going to help keep the peace, we believed we were going to help fix it. You had a sense of belonging, like you were bullet-proof. You tried to build relationships with the locals and understand the situation to make the best of it despite the conflict the people just wanted a normal life. People then had a respect for the military albeit somewhat a bit misplaced.
When you are in the military your life is dictated by the situation and you just have to follow orders, it’s like you don’t think we were just told what to do. What really helped was the “crack” and building relationships that’s what makes you resilient, you forget the unpleasant things and just remember the pleasant things, so you don’t think you just react. You couldn’t let the side down, I didn’t want to be that one, the one that let them down, I wanted to do my best.’