Barriers to Self-compassion
This is a very individual challenge; each of us will have different reasons that get in the way of us being compassionate towards ourselves. However, these barriers often stem from either external factors, internal factors or both.
Internal Factors
We often find it a lot harder to be compassionate to ourselves than to other people. We treat ourselves a lot more harshly and use language that is destructive to our self-esteem. But we wouldn’t dare speak to other people in the way we would to ourselves. Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and memories shape how we talk to and think about ourselves internally e.g. thinking ‘I am useless’ or feeling like you’re responsible for everything bad that happens can make it hard to be self-compassionate.
External Factors
Often things in our environment or in our day to day life get in the way e.g. if the people around us are constantly being critical or if we are running late to an important appointment. At these times we are more likely to be critical about ourselves even if we have no control over the situation e.g. beating yourself up for being late even though it was actually due to traffic jams and the bus not turning up.
Why Aren’t We More Compassionate?
Video
Consider more:
1) What are the factors that affect whether you respond in a compassionate way to yourself and others?rn2) Do you find it easier to be self-compassionate or to be compassionate to others?
You might want to make notes at this point. These may help you remember things, work out what you want or see how much you’ve changed if you read them again in a few years’ time.