Social and emotional needs

Social and emotional development challenges

Given the differences on a brain level already discussed, people on the autism spectrum have challenges in terms of their social and emotional development within a neurotypical world.

Autism can cause difficulties with:

Learning to play with others.
Understanding and managing emotions (both their own and other people’s).
Learning social rules.
Learning socially appropriate behaviour.
Learning how to make and maintain friendships.

These are things that neurotypical children naturally develop and learn but a child on the autism spectrum may need to be explicitly taught these skills.

'Our daughter would love to have strong deep friendships. She wants to be accepted and loved just like any other young person. Having autism doesn't stop this basic need.'
Mum of a child on the autism spectrum.

How do you learn to play with others?

Play and interaction through music in early development.
Build on child’s stage of play, for example play alongside them initially and develop further, or playing a computer game together.
Turn taking activities through board games, ball games, etc.
Using strengths and interests, for example social groups.
Engagement alongside them.

How do you learn about emotions?

Some things you could try are:

Label and explain emotions in everyday situations. It helps to give explicit reasons, for example ‘Susan is crying, she is sad because…’
Make an emotions scrapbook. The goal is to promote emotional literacy as much as possible which means helping your child identify the link between their physical cues of emotions and the correct label for it.
Books that explicitly teach about emotions can be helpful. Emotions can be labelled in yourselves, other people, in books, on TV, etc.

Books

The Red Beast by K.I. Al-Ghani (2008). Controlling anger in children with Asperger syndrome, Jessica Kingsley.
The Panicasaurus; managing anxiety in children including those with Asperger syndrome by K.I. Al-Ghani (2013); Jessica Kingsley.
The huge bag of worries by Virginia Ironside & Frank Rodgers (2011).
Starving the Anxiety Gremlin; A cognitive behavioural therapy workbook on anxiety management for children age 5-9. Kate Collins-Donnelly. (This one is a self help workbook that young people can work through with support).

'Camouflaging difficulties and trying hard to fit into social groups is exhausting for our daughter. She comes home from school and needs to collapse and not have any social contact for a couple of hours to start to recover.'
Mum of a child on the autism spectrum.

How do you learn social rules and socially appropriate behaviour?