Masking
Some young people are exceptionally adept at hiding or masking their difficulties in order to appear just the same as their neurotypical peers.
Their desire to fit in and try to form friendships with others drives them to try picking up social skills and cues by copying others.
They may also learn social scripts and stock responses, force themselves to make eye contact and stop themselves engaging in soothing sensory behaviours that others may perceive as ‘odd’.
All this comes at great cost as it’s exhausting to maintain throughout the day.
What often happens is a young person who appears to be fine during the school day will tell school staff and peers everything is ok, they get on with their work and attain well.
However, at home the mask is removed and a parent sees a highly distressed child suffering meltdowns, anxiety and depression and sometimes a refusal to attend school or even leave the house.
This is called sensitive presentation of autism.
While this is more common in girls (and may be why girls tend to be identified and diagnosed later than boys), we do see many boys who are very good at masking too and their needs can be missed. Their difficulties may initially be misread as mental health issues.