If you require mental health crisis support, please contact your local mental health services, your GP, or telephone 111 or the emergency services.

Practicing self-compassion

Activities to Practice Self-compassion

There are two activities that can be used to help foster self- compassion; how would you treat a friend and self- compassion break.

How Would You Treat a Friend?

Treating ourselves as we would treat our friends is often easier said than done. However, it is a helpful way to start to try and be more compassionate to yourself. If you think about a time recently when you noticed that your inner critic appeared; what happened? What did your inner critic say? Would you say that to your friend if they explained the same situation to you? What would you say to your friend?

Going through this process of noticing your inner critic, thinking about what you would say if it were your friend and then saying it to yourself is something that takes practice. See activity ‘Practicing Self-Compassion’ at the end of this page.

What I currently say to myself

I’m a failure.

I’m so stupid.

I’m worthless.

What I would say to a friend

You’re not a failure. I know you, you’ll try try harder and succeed.

You’re not stupid. What you said just came out wrong.

You’re far from worthless.

What I’ll say to myself from now on

I’m not a failure. I’ll just try try harder and succeed.

I’m wasn’t stupid. What I said just came out wrong.

I’m not worthless. I have a valuable contribution to make.


Self-compassion Break

Think about a time when you have been stressed or upset. Where you would notice these feelings and sensations in your body? What happens in your mind?

This exercise helps you to come up with 3 statements which can prompt you to remember to be compassionate to yourself. It is important you come up with statements that suit your language as this will help you remember and use them.

Try to come up with 3 statements for yourself based on the examples below:

Common humanity

A statement that reminds you that you are not alone. e.g. I’m not alone. Everyone struggles. It’s not just me.

Self kindness

A statement that reminds you to be kind to yourself e.g. May I be strong. May I be safe. Be kind to myself.

Summary

Using these three steps when you’re in a difficult situation can help to focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself.

Discover more

If you want to, try out some of the ideas on this page. Use the information in the sheet below or in the alternative version box underneath this, to help you.

Practicing Self-Compassion (361.29kB)

Important:

You might want to make notes at this point. These may help you remember things, work out what you want or see how much you’ve changed if you read them again in a few years’ time.