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Levels of validation

The 6 levels of validation

Marsha Linehan, who created Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, found six levels of validation. She also says how important validation is.

If you care about someone who is emotionally sensitive, validation is one of the most useful skills you can learn. If you are an emotionally sensitive yourself, learning to validate yourself will help you manage your emotions better.

Linehan says you should use the highest level of validation that you can in any situation.


Levels of validation

Be present
  • Pay complete attention in a non-judgmental way.
  • Listen carefully and completely.
  • Be aware of what you are feeling.
  • Try to sit comfortably with strong emotions.

Tell what you’ve heard back
  • Tell them what you hear.
  • Be honest.
  • Try to really understand without judging.

Read body language and work out feelings and thoughts
  • Help the person to understand their emotions by working out what they might be feeling.
  • Be prepared to be set right as only they know how they really feel.

Understand the person they are in the life they are living

  • Understand how someone’s life experiences and their biology might affect their emotions.
  • Also be aware of your own feelings and how your past experiences might affect how you feel.

Emotions are normal

Explain that their emotions are normal.

Be honest and real
  • Share the experience as equals.
  • Understand the emotion someone is feeling on a very deep level.