How to deal with angry people
It isn’t always possible to resolve what someone is angry about straight away but often when somebody has become angry, once the emotion has been validated it becomes easier to deal with any problem practically.
You should always try to deal with the reason for the anger and not the anger itself. Remember, unless you personally have done something wrong, they are usually angry with a situation and they want a solution, not endless apologies.
Apologies alone won’t solve the problem.
Remember: Always respond. Don’t react.
Following the four steps below should help you to deal with an angry or difficult person:
- Pause. Allow the person to let their anger run it’s course. Let them get it off their chest. A person left to rant will usually start to calm down of their own accord if people don’t react to it.
- Acknowledge. Use non-verbal nods such as: ‘Yes’, ‘Uh huh’, ‘OK’, ‘I see’ and ‘I understand’. This shows the person that you are paying attention and listening to their problem from their point of view.
- Clarify. A person who is angry or dissatisfied is unlikely to give you all the relevant information you need to solve their problem, as they usually speak from the heart and are emotional, rather than using their head and giving the hard facts.
- Respond. Only when you’ve carried out the 3 other steps should you aim to come up with a solution or resolve the problem. Make sure if there are alternative ways of solving the problem that you always give them a choice.
Consider more:
1. How well do you feel you deal with angry or difficult people?
2. What key point can you take from the guide above to help you in the future?
You might want to make notes at this point. These may help you remember things, work out what you want or see how much you’ve changed if you read them again in a few years’ time.