Trauma and attachment
Attachment is a fundamental aspect of mammalian biology that has evolved to enhance the survival and wellbeing of offspring. This concept, often associated with John Bowlby’s attachment theory, highlights the strong emotional bond formed between caregivers, typically parents, and their offspring. This bonding serves several crucial purposes in the evolutionary context.
Attachment has evolved as a multifaceted system that not only enhances the survival of mammalian offspring but also contributes to the development of complex social behaviours, emotional regulation skills, and neurobiological foundations. The relationship between caregivers and offspring, facilitated by attachment, represents a crucial adaptation that has played a vital role in the success of mammalian species.
The list below explores some of the advantages our attachments may give us.
- Survival Advantage:
- Mammals, in contrast to reptiles like turtles, invest more time and energy in nurturing their offspring. While turtles lay numerous eggs and provide minimal care, mammals produce fewer young but invest significantly in their wellbeing.
- Attachment behaviour ensures the proximity of the caregiver to the offspring, promoting protection, nourishment, and guidance. This close relationship contributes to a higher likelihood of the young mammal’s survival.
- Emotion Regulation:
- Attachment is not only about physical closeness but also about emotional connection. The relationship between a caregiver and a child plays a crucial role in the development of emotional regulation skills.
- When a child is frightened or distressed, the attachment system is activated. This triggers a set of behaviors aimed at seeking comfort and protection from the caregiver. The caregiver’s response provides a sense of security and helps the child regulate their emotions.
- Evolution of Social Living:
- The evolution of attachment is intricately linked with the development of social structures among mammals. Living in social groups provides additional layers of protection and resources.
- As mammals evolved, the capacity to live with others became more sophisticated, possibly linked with the emergence of language and intelligence. The ability to communicate and cooperate within a group increases the overall survival chances of individuals.
- Neurobiological Development:
- Attachment experiences influence the development of neural pathways in the brain, particularly in regions associated with emotions and stress regulation.
- Positive attachment experiences contribute to the formation of a secure attachment, fostering a sense of trust and safety. In contrast, negative experiences may lead to insecure attachments, impacting emotional wellbeing and relationships in the long term.
What is attachment? It is the 'bond that ties' the child to the caregiver.
What is the effect of being traumatised by someone else?
Lack of Trust
When we struggle with attachment issues, it often manifests as a difficulty in trusting others. This lack of trust may stem from early experiences that didn’t provide a secure and reliable foundation for forming connections. Consequently, this scepticism can permeate our adult relationships, making it challenging to fully believe in the intentions and reliability of others.
Intense Emotions like Hatred or Shame
Attachment difficulties can contribute to the development of intense and sometimes overwhelming emotions such as hatred or shame. These emotions may be rooted in past experiences of abandonment, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving. Understanding and managing these strong emotions becomes crucial for fostering emotional wellbeing and maintaining healthier relationships.
Impact on Emotion Management
Attachment plays a pivotal role in the development of emotional regulation skills. Difficulties in attachment can result in challenges when it comes to managing emotions effectively. This may lead to heightened emotional reactivity, impulsivity, or struggles in coping with stress, ultimately impacting our overall emotional resilience.
Reduced Empathy, Increased Competitiveness, or Cruelty
Attachment issues may contribute to a diminished capacity for empathy and an increase in competitive or even cruel behaviours. The inability to form secure connections during early development can influence interpersonal dynamics, leading to a more self-protective and less caring approach in relationships. This shift may result in a more competitive mindset, potentially harming the quality of connections with others.
Difficulty in Emotion Regulation
The impact of attachment difficulties is particularly evident in the realm of emotion regulation. Individuals with insecure attachment patterns may find it challenging to navigate and regulate their emotions effectively. This difficulty can manifest as emotional outbursts, difficulty expressing feelings, or an overall struggle to maintain emotional equilibrium in various situations.
Excessive People-pleasing Behaviours
Excessive People-Pleasing Behaviours: A response to insecure attachment might involve an excessive desire to please others. This behaviour often originates from a deep-seated need for approval and validation, rooted in the early experiences of seeking comfort and reassurance. However, this constant effort to please others can be emotionally draining and may lead to a lack of authentic self-expression.
Struggles in Relationship Maintenance
Attachment difficulties can significantly impact our ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Fear of rejection or abandonment may hinder our willingness to invest emotionally in relationships. This, coupled with challenges in trusting others, can create barriers to forming deep and lasting connections.
Avoidance or Suppression of Unacceptable Emotions
During traumatic experiences, individuals may develop coping mechanisms that involve avoiding or suppressing emotions perceived as unacceptable. This could lead to a limited emotional range, inhibiting the ability to express and process certain feelings. Over time, this avoidance may hinder personal growth and prevent the development of healthy emotional coping mechanisms.
How we see ourselves and others
Securely attached individuals tend to hold positive views of both self and others and are comfortable with either close relationships or autonomy. These people tend to believe that someone will be available to them if needed and believe that they are deserving of others help.
Once an individual has developed the ability for secure attachments, he or she will likely continue the pattern throughout the remainder of the life span. This development may occur during infancy with the primary caregiver, but also may occur later in life through another significant relationship.
The preoccupied attachment style is characterised by a negative view of self and a positive view of others. These individuals tend to feel anxious in their relationships, demonstrate a high level of dependence on others, and invest a significant amount of energy in relationships that are not necessarily in their best interest to maintain.
The fearful attachment style is characterised by negative views of both self and others. These individuals tend to be socially avoidant because they are fearful of their own vulnerability in close relationships. They anticipate that others will be hurtful and believe that they do not deserve to be treated well due to perceived personal shortcomings.
People with a dismissing attachment style have a positive view of self and a negative view of others. They place little, if any, value on close relationships and consequently choose independence and autonomy.
Recent research show attachment style varies across relationships and over time. Strong relationships can heal attachment difficulties.
Consider me:
u003colu003ern tu003cliu003eIt is important to remember that a consistent, positive relationship can support someone with their recovery by helping them to learn trust in others and learn to manage emotions.u003c/liu003ernu003c/olu003e